Journaling & Affirmations – What Are They?
Journaling can be a helpful tool to manage your mental health. It involves writing down your thoughts and feelings, both good and bad. Getting things out of your head and onto paper can help you view them in a different way. Journaling can also be used to keep a record of things you are proud of or excited about. Listing things you’ve done well or challenges you’ve coped with and want to give yourself credit for can improve self-esteem.
Positive affirmations are statements we can say to ourselves when we feel like we need it. Examples include:
- I am enough.
- What I did today was enough.
- I made a mistake today but that’s OK because I’m human.
These types of affirmations are compassionate, kind, understanding and non-judgemental. When we look at ourselves through this lens, we are more likely to feel better about ourselves, our efforts and our lives in general. This is why affirmations can be used to improve self-esteem.
Read The Self-Soothing Series – Journaling & Affirmations to learn more about these practices and discover tips for getting started.
How Can Journaling & Affirmations Help You Feel Like a Good Mum?
One of the beauties and benefits of journaling and affirmations is that they force you to take a moment, pause, and reflect positively on your actions and behaviour.
Through this, you can start giving yourself credit for the things you do as a mum. I don’t just mean the obvious, big things. I mean all the tiny, seemingly insignificant, mundane things that go into caring for your children, running a home, and generally existing as a human in the world.
As a culture, we’re not very comfortable giving ourselves credit for things. We fear being seen as arrogant or cocky. This means busy mums often overlook their achievements, minimising the importance of their role. If they also have a critical inner voice and a tendency to focus on the negative, this can have a detrimental effect on their self-esteem.
I know it can be difficult to find time, but journaling for even just 10 minutes a day can make a big difference. Writing down your feelings and identifying things you deserve credit for can help you develop more self-compassion. To learn more about the importance of this, read How Self-Compassion Can Help You Parent.
Watch Out for Minimising Toxic Thoughts
As you record your feelings and experiences, watch out for minimising toxic thoughts. For example, you might be giving yourself credit for looking after your newborn all day and then find yourself thinking you shouldn’t because you’re a mum that’s what you’re supposed to do. It’s not a big deal, it’s your job.
This is true, but you still deserve credit for it! You could have chosen NOT to look after your baby. You could have left them lying in their cot crying all day or in their bouncy chair for hours on end. But you didn’t. You cared for them and tended to theirs needs, even when you found it hard or felt you had nothing left to give.
Looking after a baby all day requires incredible amounts of patience, determination and resilience. Loving and caring for your baby, when it feels easy and especially when it doesn’t, is absolutely something you deserve credit for.
Listen to How to Challenge Toxic Thoughts for more on this subject.
Start Boosting Your Self-Esteem Today
Write down a list of things you have done today. Looking at these activities through a compassionate lens, consider what they say about you as a person.
Here are some examples of what this might look like:
- I went for a walk with my baby / I am a motivated, energetic person and my physical strength is improving
- I took my baby to a baby group / I am a caring mum
- I spoke to a fellow new mum / I am a sociable, friendly person
- I cooked my family an evening meal / I am a thoughtful person
In my experience, people can struggle to come up with a list of positive qualities. If this is something you can relate to, send me an email and I’ll respond with a list I give my clients to help them connect positive qualities with the things they do throughout the day.
This practice should only take around 10 minutes but try not to rush through it. Rushing means you’re less likely to feel connected to the traits you’re describing, therefore minimising the emotional benefits of the exercise. Ideally, you would do this every day, treating it like a daily medicine for your mind, emotional health, and wellbeing.
Nurturing You Through Motherhood
If you’re struggling with your motherhood journey for any reason and it’s affecting your mental health, I can help. Reach out for support by booking a consultation here or subscribe to The Nurture Toolkit for free, actionable tips and prompts straight to your inbox. I also share lots of encouragement and support via Instagram.