What is Mum Burnout?
‘Mum burnout’ can be defined as intense physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion as a result of the relentless demands of caregiving. Burnout can leave you feeling overwhelmed, joyless, disconnected from your children, and as if you’re constantly failing as a mum.
Sound familiar? I know I’ve felt like this at times during my motherhood journey. It’s one of the reasons I’m so passionate about helping mothers learn to prioritise themselves and their own needs. When this doesn’t happen, burnout is often the outcome.
We know that when a mother is seen, held, and heard, she benefits. This then has a positive ripple effect on her family and how she interacts with them. When we’re cared for, we can better care for others. When we’re nurtured, we can pour that nurturing into those around us. Read Why Mothers Need Mothering for more of my thoughts on this.
Signs of Mum Burnout
- Being on the go all the time with hardly any rest periods
- Being overly focused on those around you and neglecting your own needs and desires
- Feeling restless
- Increased irritability
- Tiredness and exhaustion
- Appetite changes
- Sleep changes
- Changes in libido
- Feeling overwhelmed, anxious or stressed
- Feeling angry, irritable or full of rage
- Struggling with feelings of guilt or shame
How to Recover from Mum Burnout
The difference between typical burnout and mum burnout is that mums can’t take a break. More often than not, mums have to keep going whether they’re physically ill or psychologically unwell. They can’t be signed off from their responsibilities, and this can make mum burnout even harder to cope with. With this in mind, here are two tips for recovery:
1. Join The Nurture Toolkit
I send biweekly emails straight to your inbox with tips and strategies designed to help you learn to nurture yourself on your motherhood journey. The things I recommend can be applied practically in everyday life, and I guarantee you’ll notice a difference when you do. Subscribe to The Nurture Toolkit here.
2. Practice Prioritising Your Own Needs
Try the following exercise. Look at your daily activities over the course of a week. Write down everything you do from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed. Include things like getting dressed, brushing your teeth, having breakfast, doing the school run and going to work. You might also note down activities like vacuuming the living room, doing the food shop, and going to the post office. Whatever it is that you do, write it down.
Next, study the list you’ve made and think about the tasks or activities that were essential versus the things you did that weren’t as important. Rate tasks on a scale of 0 to 10, with zero being not important all the way up to 10 being the most important thing. For example, going to work might be a 10, but going to the post office is a three.
Once you’ve recorded your week and rated the importance of each activity, you can start to look at the less important tasks and plan ways to replace them with things that focus on you instead. I’d encourage you to add in activities that feel meaningful, nourishing and nurturing. The less important stuff can wait.
How we spend our time and what we do with our days has an impact on how we feel. If you’re constantly depleted, exhausted, and overwhelmed, but you never do things that fill your cup, this isn’t going change.
When you re-prioritise some of the activities you do in a day, and add in more time for yourself, you should notice your mood improves and your energy levels increase. There is power in what we do, and we can change how we feel by changing what we do. Remember, you matter just as much as your children, and when you’re well, they’ll get the best of you too.
Therapy for New Mums
If you find it difficult to prioritise your own needs and feel intensely guilty when you do, therapy could be really beneficial for you. If you’re struggling with your motherhood journey for any reason and it’s affecting your mental health, I can help. Reach out for support by booking a consultation here. I also share lots of encouragement and support via Instagram.
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