A theme I often see in my therapy sessions with new mums is anxiety about weaning. After months of milk, the move to solid foods is a big change for everyone. Your baby has to learn a lot of new skills. They need to know how to coordinate their hands, eyes, and mouth to pick up and eat food, how to chew and swallow solids, and how to accept new tastes and textures. They also need to learn to sit upright and hold their head steady while eating.
For parents, there’s a lot of uncertainty involved in weaning. As well as figuring out when to start and how to go about introducing new tastes and textures, you can never predict how each ‘meal’ will be received by your baby. Some would say the only thing you can guarantee is that it’ll be messy! Of course, this can also be a daunting prospect.
Change, unfamiliar circumstances, and uncertainty can be challenging, so a degree of apprehension in the run up to weaning your baby is to be expected. However, if normal apprehension spills over into anxiety, weaning your baby could be much more problematic. You can read more about what this feels like in Anxiety in the Body.
3 Reasons You Might Be Apprehensive About Weaning Your Baby
- Weaning involves an absence of control. The onus is on your baby to learn how to eat and the process requires patience and an ability to go with the flow. This can be difficult for mums who like to be in control of things.
- There is a lot of conflicting information about weaning, from when you should start to the best way to approach introducing solid foods. There have also been some clear-cut cases of misinformation. For example, a recent documentary looked at how certain brands of baby food were being advertised as healthy and full of nutrients. When tested in a laboratory, results revealed this marketing was misleading consumers, causing a lot of anxiety, fear and guilt for mums who had given their baby these foods.
- Weaning can also provoke the fear your baby might choke. Although this is a very real risk that must be considered, it’s very unlikely your baby will choke. Babies have a strong gag reflex, so they may gag while eating, but this is completely normal. When this happens, their body is doing what it’s designed to do. The NHS has a useful guide to help you prepare food safely and learn the difference between choking and gagging.
Normal Apprehension Vs. Anxiety
As we’ve established, it’s very normal to be apprehensive about trying something new or unfamiliar, and weaning your baby is no different. Normal apprehension tends to be quite mild and easily managed. In contrast, anxiety and fear are more intense and usually have a much bigger impact on your day-to-day life.
Someone that is anxious or fearful about weaning their baby may spend a significant amount of time worrying about feeding, googling information, reading forums, and looking for evidence to support their fears. They might also seek lots of reassurance from their partner, other mums, or a friend. All of this worrying and reassurance seeking takes up lots of time and can overshadow the joy of seeing your baby eating solid food for the first time. You can learn more about this in Excessive Reassurance Seeking and Anxiety.
My Tips for Coping If You’re Anxious About Weaning Your Baby
Normalise and Validate Feeling Apprehensive
If you take one thing away from reading this post, I hope it’s this. While I don’t want you to feel anxious about weaning, I want you to know it’s normal to feel apprehensive, intimidated or even overwhelmed. It’s a big change for you and your baby, but it will quickly become your new normal.
Try to Minimise Excessive Googling and Researching
Banning yourself from Google is probably unrealistic. How will you find a list of those all-important first foods or source more bibs?! However, if you notice yourself googling things frequently or spending a significant amount of time reading parenting forums, and this is becoming unhelpful, consider reducing the time you spend on this activity.
Practice Letting Go
It’s not possible to be in control of all situations, all of the time. The more you try to control everything, the more stress you’ll feel when faced with a situation that’s out of your control, such as weaning your baby. As you practice letting go, focus on your ability to cope with difficult situations and uncertainty.
Empower Yourself by Attending a Baby First Aid Class
If you’re worried about your baby choking, consider attending a baby first aid class to build the skills you would need if this unfortunate situation were to arise. Remember, the likelihood of this is small, but anxiety makes us focus on the outcome rather than the possibility of that outcome actually happening.
Remember What We Resist Persists
Anxiety can lead to avoidance. You might feel tempted to delay weaning altogether or prolong moving your baby from purees to more solid foods. Try not to give into these urges. The more you work on getting used to feeding your baby, the more comfortable you should feel and the trust you have in yourself to cope with difficult situations will improve.
Therapy for New Mums
If you’re struggling with anxiety related to weaning your baby or any other aspect of motherhood, I can help. Reach out for support by booking a consultation here or subscribe to The Nurture Toolkit for free, actionable tips and prompts straight to your inbox. I also share lots of encouragement and support via Instagram.